Orthodox Jewish Conversion Thoughts - Tishrei 5783 (2022)
I did not chose to undertake a second conversion to Judaism to make my life more difficult. Life is harried, stressful, and overwhelming for women of all faiths, including Jewish women, and certainly for women of no professed faith.
Being a person of great faith, I am not choosing to make my Orthodox conversion into a big mantle of overwhelm, one I must shoulder and grudgingly carry throughout my day, throughout the rest of my years. Whenever I feel the overwhelming heaviness of new mitzvot descending upon me, I pause. And I ask myself one question.
“Am I being practical, sensible, and wise about holiness?”
Answering this question truthfully is helping me make my way through an Orthodox conversion program without retreating into fearful overwhelm. Oh, I could go there easily if I failed to ask and answer the basic question. It’s a Yes or No question. It’s not complicated. New information and obligation always tends to be overwhelming to us, whether it involves holiness or not.
Wisdom about holiness must prevail in taking on the many mitzvot of a Torah-observant life. The mizvot are not designed to override or circumvent wisdom, even when we cannot understand them intellectually.
Hashem created human beings in the process of becoming more observant to aspire to and gain wisdom, not to circumvent it. Torah was given to us as a foundation for wisdom and holiness in this world and beyond. Torah study is giving me wisdom as a woman in the process of becoming more observant of the mitzvot.
Torah study led me to decide to convert a second time, and Torah study is informing my ability to choose practical, sensible, wisdom about halacha. When faced with teaching that starts to feel threatening or intimidating, I pause and ask, “Am I being practical, sensible, and wise about holiness?”
The fact is that many things a person learns in a conversion program are specifically for men. Many mitzvot are specifically for men. I am not a man. This is another fact, and it must be top-of-mind as I study Torah and halacha.
Another question arises, and it requires a factual answer, “Does this apply to me as a Jewish woman?” Without asking and answering that question, the mantle of overwhelm may start hovering over me.
Torah study led me to decide to convert a second time, and Torah study is informing my ability to choose practical, sensible, wisdom about halacha. When faced with teaching that starts to feel threatening or intimidating, I pause and ask, “Am I being practical, sensible, and wise about holiness?”
The fact is that many things a person learns in a conversion program are specifically for men. Many mitzvot are specifically for men. I am not a man. This is another fact, and it must be top-of-mind as I study Torah and halacha.
Another question arises, and it requires a factual answer, “Does this apply to me as a Jewish woman?” Without asking and answering that question, the mantle of overwhelm may start hovering over me.
Yesterday I felt the weight, the heavy mantle of overwhelm descending, and knew I needed answers - fast. Thanks to the internet I found them quickly on Halachipedia.com “Women are exempt from all time bound, positive commandments, Mitzvot Aseh SheHazman Grama, with a few exceptions.” Exploring those exceptions is my privilege and dedicated focus now.
What a blessing to be involved in an Orthodox conversion program with access to the internet. And what a specific blessing to locate the simple, clear, halacha provided by Rabbi Yitzchak Sultan on Halachipedia.com. He has curated a wealth of articles which have been reviewed by Rabbi Mordechai Willig, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva University.
I am choosing to undertake an Orthodox conversion to Judaism with practical, sensible wisdom about holiness, as it applies to me, as a Jewish woman taking on more and more mitzvot.
What a blessing to be involved in an Orthodox conversion program with access to the internet. And what a specific blessing to locate the simple, clear, halacha provided by Rabbi Yitzchak Sultan on Halachipedia.com. He has curated a wealth of articles which have been reviewed by Rabbi Mordechai Willig, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva University.
I am choosing to undertake an Orthodox conversion to Judaism with practical, sensible wisdom about holiness, as it applies to me, as a Jewish woman taking on more and more mitzvot.
Following is a list of resources I am collecting for myself and for other interested Jewish women:
Ezrat Nashim - the Women's section on Halachipedia.com
Kashrut - the Kosher section on Halachipedia.com
Shabbat - the Shabbat section on Halachipedia.com
Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller-Gottlieb - Naaleh Torah for women and girls
Sephardi Women's prayer obligations - Halacha Yomit on Women and Prayer
Women and Mitzvot - Aish Women and Mitzvot in Judaism
Jewish Women's History in the US - Jewish Women's Archive Orthodox Judaism in the United States
Rabbi Shay Schachter Concise history of women's Torah study and mizvot obligation
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